1980 BREZHNEV in a Discotheque.
I am the first DJs in USSR and the pioneer of the Soviet disco mania. When many of the
todays DJs with famous names crawled under tables, I have already received the honourable
"Nickname" "Red"!The first disco I have conducted was in October, 1972. All former
performer-jokers, and nowadays the DJs, have gone through the strict district committee
selection on reliability and moral stability, amused the youth, using self-made son of
lumiere, household audio system, which were written off from theatrical trash and records
Melody" firm.
In the course of time I developed a plan to "discotise" the country that have won socialism
I have decided to introduce the disco control panel in production, which was invented by me.
About my project the project of the century, I informed in a magazine for Komsomol technical
persons Engineering for youth. Soon, I was invited to take part in the exhibition NTTM-80.
The cultural program of Olympic games-80 was included in the exhibition. I was requested to
bring the disco control panel and conduct a discotheque at the farewell party where the guests
of Olympic Games participated and yes, that not to discredit the respect of the Country of
Soviets!The party took place as usually: every possible toasts proposed for the health of
this or that friend, guests, people. I loudly announced the names of the performers, spouted
many jokes and also stealthily gulped down one after another wine-glasses. At last, when all
have reached up to the mark, I solemnly announced:
Friends! Today we have with us an eminent guest, who is well known to all of you, and I
started-up the previously prepared record.
D-e-a-r--c-o-m-r-a-d-e-s,
uttered in a smacking aged voice, which was impossible not to recognize whos voice it was.
Everybody became freezed and silent. With a small pause the voice continued:
A-l-l-o-w m-e t-o w-e-l-c-o-m-e y-o-u... all the people present, leaving off their forks,
spoons, wine-glasses, instantly jumped up from their seats, correcting their ties and looking
around in search of himself, forced them in such an unexpected appearance which is far from a
Komsomol behavior. The voice of the Chief Communist of the country was so real, that in
confusion everybody was straightened up in attention manner. Even, I could not assume such
a surprisingly prompt reaction and for an instant I became puzzled. I quickly wanted to
switch-off the voice, but carelessly I touched the tone-arm of the record player, which
skipped over to another track of the record.
. T-h-i-s i-s c-o-r-r-e-c-t, the senile baritone finished his speech affirmatively and
quietly, as if nothing were wrong, and as if approving the reaction of the people present
there. After these words from the record a tremendous ovation was resounded from the delegates
of session of the Supreme Body of USSR, which were picked up by the quickly "oriented"
participants of our party and, having mixed up, turned into a real ovation.Well and well,
my dear mother, likely, I have gone in extreme, unintentionally this phrase came out from
me. By the mixer regulator I have translated the historical phrases of the Head of the state
to a fashionable topic of the prohibited group Boney M. Everyone began gradually to calm
down and stealthily began to whisper, gradually guessing, what a joke the DJ has played with
them. A minute later one of the organizers of the party with goggle-eyed as a breathless fish
rushed down to me and taking off my headphones from my head, started yelling something,
twisting the forefinger and showing me that I am a nutcase. Here, desiring to be rehabilitated
quickly, I switched on the record of the Soviet Unions national anthem, and prepared myself
for the worst.
The powerful introductory chords of the anthem were delivered through out the hall, compelling
everybodys attention to the dance floor. The disturbed "partageinoss" (army official) crookedly
smiled, quacked something and, lordly clapped on my shoulder, left for their table. Well,
now I am finished (they will chop-off my head) I thought sorrowfully, and the disco has
already came to the end. Unexpectedly one of the guests a foreigner has asked me for the
microphone and has announced in broken Russian:
We are very glad, to listen such a good music and want to give a big thanks to our DJ...
here he has made a pause and, significantly looked on me, and continued: to our red DJ,
thank you and want to make one present. With these words under applause of multinational
crowd, a girl put on me a red knitted cap with the image of the Olympic bear on it. Such,
in an unusual manner I was "painted" the name "Red".
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